La palomita negra

Cómo eres, Frida?

The black dove

spine nailed

and pinned to spikes

of a vermillion cage

You were born out of

Tlazolteotl, Aztec goddess

head drooping in

a puddle of blood

La virgen de las angustias

weeps for you

and your lost child

still born under tears

 

¿Cómo estás, la llorona?

Crossing that river not

even Xoloescuintle can

save you

Quédate en el purgatorio,

los autorretratos de pena

So paint—

Paint it magenta

paint it amarrilla

paint it verde

Pinta lo que se quede

en tu corazón

 

Paint sin esperanza

force feed yourself

the slime of intestines

a mash of palvo and

churrizo a puree of

pollo and calaveras

de azúcar

only to regurgitate

it all—

Paint

 

What scratches inside

your wounds

Scrape it out

with your brush

The bristles are

plasters

 

Plasters that rip

the skin

with every stroke

every graze

Paint a wounded deer

and crown yourself

with antlers

nine arrows pierce

an already

deteriorated body

if you can only

make it to the lightning sky

you might survive

sangre trickles profusely

and carma says no

So you’ll stay in the

árboles, atrapada

 

They take

the scaple to

better you

(to ruin

you)

No hay

un escape

No hay

una despedida

 

Pinta cielos made of

shades of naranja

surround your depleted

worn face with a

wilted sunflower

Seat yourself

one legged

¿Pies pa’ qué los quieres

si tienes alas para volar?

 

So lay yourself

on this

canvas and live

 

Solo vives acá

La paz se halla

en el fuego azul

que quemará

la casita rota

 

Quema el cuerpo y

mantendremos

los restos

La diosa española en San Andrés, Cholula

Sometimes she nuzzles her head in my breasts

“I just want to make home here” she says

 

Sometimes she grabs my ass

“You move like a fuckin queen!”

her hands caress my hips as we dance

salsa, figure 8 figure, I figure she wants

me. But she’s fuckin the Jewish guy from

Colorado.  “You need some flavor in

your life,” I tell her while we walk down

Camino Real, dodging Cholula’s construction.  

“Oh, but he’s cute.”

She grabs my waist to hug me and smiles.

 

Sometimes she lays her head on my hip

bone while Noah, the white guy, lays his

head in her lap.  “I’m your favorite American, right?”

I ask.  “Yes, but Noah’s really cool too.  He has a

guitar.”

“So what, I have poetry.”

“I write songs which are kind of like poetry.”

I don’t argue. He has a point.

I call him “suckypants” from now on.

The three of us lie in the grass by the lake

bathing in the sun and I imagine her without

clothes lying between my legs.  

 

Sometimes she quotes poetry and calls me

“Beauty and Truth”

She majors in literature. “I fuckin love

Emily Dickinson!” she tells me over and over.

“I am Nobody! Who are you?

Are you Nobody too?

Then there’s a pair of us!

Don’t tell!” she grabs my arm

tight with conviction.

 

Sometimes I share my poetry with her

ay, no hay más para darte  

because I am lost and no quiero

que me encuentres, solo que te quedes

dentro de mí con tus árboles, cálidos

y dulces, como el verano se cae

en las hojas de carmesí y ambarina.

“Joder, Lucrecia, I fuckin love it.”

 

And sometimes she invites me over.

Her eyes are bright mahogany and brimming.

She has a completely withered red

rose in a Ciel water bottle sin agua

on the desk by her bed. She has raven black

sheets. I move her backpack out the way and

sit. She talks to her plants outside her window

She has a plant with yellow blossoms in the shape

of tiny purses that remind her of her abuela.

“They’re so fuckin dry!” We’re in the center

of Mexico, in the mountains, the air

is arid and the sun is stark, I tell her.

 

Sometimes she reads me Mexican poetry

in her Spanish accent.

“I fuckin love this poem.”

She takes out her bag of tobacco to roll

her own cigarette but she’s out of paper.

“Fuck fuck fuck fuck”

She digs and digs in her purse and pulls out

a pre-rolled cigarette and lights it. She blows

the smoke away from me as she reads

 

Hay un tigre en la casa

huele la sangre aun a través del vidrio

percibe el miedo desde la cocina

The smoke swirls and I lean in to take

it all in. Her accent. Her tongue snaking

through her teeth. Her essence. Lilith.

Los crisoles de saliva emponzoñada

de sus fauces.

The burning tobacco fragrances fresh

light and inviting

Ni siquiera lo huelo

para que no me mate.

I think of the pink tiger in this room.

Hay un inmenso tigre encerrado

en todo eso.

I imagine if I close the door what could take

place.  Her voz excites me, I wonder how

she moans. Noah knows. Suckypants.

Que tanto y tanto amor

y tanto vuelo entre unos cuerpos

The cigarette has burnt out now

but the scent lingers on her lips

tanto imposible amor inexpresable,

nos vuelva tontos, monos sin sentido.

I fantasize her cuerpecito vainilla against

the raven sheets, unshaven and full woman

I dream of her contrasting with my bronze, tangled

Es esto… lo que duele.

 

Sometimes she tells me about her French ex-boyfriend

and I tell her about a recent Brazilian ex-lover.

“These people, they’re explosions in our lives

atomic bombs and we’re left with sizzled skin,

flames still brewing us deep blue,” I say.

She lends me an anthology of Mexican poets,

Sometimes she reads a poem from her journal.

“Do you do collaborations?” I want her

Spanish to swirl with my English.

“No, I don’t think about it.” She looks down, shrugs

and throws the journal on her bed.

 

Sometimes she takes me to lectures for literature majors.

Most times I just want to fuck her.

 

Malemolência

Green hazel eyes

pierce and sting

irises of dew-covered mornings

or freshly cut spring grass

 

Against my black marble eyes

you reflect then

drown or rather, I rise anew

I like to think that

you reinvent me

 

with every shock of

piquancy that

make home in the pores of

my flesh

 

Sweet hazelnut against

crimson copper

Muérdeme para que puedas

probar el sabor de ti

dentro de mí

 

Tus labios están hinchados

por mis besos y no me disculpo

So I bite and bite porque

tus labios y lengua me dan vida

 

Si yo soy la rueda de malemolência

tú eres el eje que me gira

vueltas y vueltas

I only stop to kiss you

Close Between

If those chipped peeling walls could tell

Their blue frightening and closing in

(I seem to have a thing for bathroom scenes

The close intimacy, the raunchiness, the locks or lack

Thereof.) She held the door closed as I went down

She tasted of Victoria’s, Bohemians, and trembling ecstasy.

If those baby blue cracked walls could tell

How much I loved her, how much I breathed for her.

To part her lips with my tongue, her hands through

The tiny coils of my hair reminds me of yellow

Sparkling over a deep sea. I’m floating and she’s my wings.

I could’ve had more but the party’s over and 2am skies

Bathe the night air. I’m close to anger when she cries for him.

Across the street I sit and listen to the saddest guitar

While she sobs drunken and absorbed.  Yo respiro.

 

–Luecretia, the esoteric

 

 

Inspiration: Daily Prompt: But No Cigar

En la llovizna con ella (Poem)

Her thin pale hands took in mine

We’re lying down on a white mattress

In La Casa Roja, the fiesta has just begun.

 

My hands are heavily worn from manual

Labor; hers are permanently burned from

Los cigarritos she tries to smoke end to end.

 

I’m wearing bright pink acrylic and her nails

Are bitten down to the bed. In that moment

I realize how high I am and the Mezcal is alive

 

Squirming through my limbs. I’m exhausted—

Running around Puebla en la tarde, en la llovizna con ella

I’m still soaked with fervor as she tangles our fingers.

 

She leads me in the bathroom.  I have to go but

She kisses me.  Her fervent lip between mine

Reminds me of smoking my bowl back in the States.

 

She lifts my bra and I feel my way in her turquois tights—

I bite her. Oblivious to the crowd outside waiting and

Banging. She whispers my name, then licks my neck.

 

We giggle like two small girls and take our piss

Washing each other’s hands.  She fixes her hair

In the mirror— our smiles cross.  We’re smitten.

 

She opens the door and I don’t see her for another week.

She’s already in love with someone else.

“I should have kissed you longer.”

 

–Luecretia, the esoteric ❤

 

From the Daily Prompt: Ripped From the Headlines